Career fears

"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."
Plato

The other day, as I was trying to spice up my 1on1s, I've proposed to my manager that we played out with the idea of awkward 1on1s. The premise being that such a 1on1 would purposefully make me uneasy. Possibly stirring emotions and through that favoring reflection. The concept wasn't coined by me, by the way. You can read more about it on ¹ and ². So, to kick-start the session, I've put the following question up to debate: What are my biggest career fears?

Right after I've enunciated it, a pause followed. Too many things occurred to me in that short span of time, while my manager awaited for my response. The most prominent thing to emerge being a hypothetical version of me, which felt too satisfied. That would no longer push its boundaries. The most disconcerting about it wasn't the fact itself – of not managing to push an individual boundary. Nor was it the possibility of having to step back, after failing to advance further. It was rather the notion that I, although I could, I would no longer strive for more – not for a day or two, but consistently. The fear or lacking appetite for what isn't yet there. To have a knife and cheese, but no hunger. That is a Lucas I hope to never meet.